Sports Pro–without the $$$ Pay Cheque

Yesterday a writer friend of mine who is also a book jacket designer was flipping through a new book I had bought.

“Christina, You’re going to have to crack the spine on this book to be able to read it,” she said. “Look how wide the side margins are and how narrow the gutter. The words are so close to the center of the book. They should have doubled the gutter width–any designer knows that.”

She grinned and smugly placed the book down. “There that’s my rant for the day. I can’t help myself.”

I chuckled. I knew the feeling. When my sister-in-law and I drive anywhere we tear apart home design and architecture.

“What fool builds a north facing sunroom, surrounded by pines?”

What. Were. They. Thinking. Period.

“Fuchsia siding, with olive green shutters–in an all earth-toned neighbourhood? I’m surprised no one’s shot them yet.”

Add some peppermints, licorice, striped sweets, candy canes, and Gingerbread men, and all you need is a witch and an oven.

“Check out those uneven windows. What was their architect thinking?”

“Nice pillars on that porch. So why is the porch itself held up by spindly bizarre iron pipes.”

“That cheap white siding, with that large rusty flagstone above it? Puke!”

I don’t need her help–I can do it well on my own. I do it inside too, checking out great design, layout and structure, and giving mental make-overs to anything that doesn’t measure up. The artsy fartsy coming out in me.

This is my sport and I rock it. I win every time. It never fails to bring a smile to my face, a spring to my step, and a boost to my self esteem.

Pity it doesn’t pay the bills.

There is no hope for this one unless you paint it camo to blend in with the trees

Here’s an example. Great looking place at first glance. Nice how the indented arch mimics the door shape. Love the dark door and banister. And the focus feature is a fantastic double door. But…

If I lived here it would drive me insane every day that the top of the door arch is slightly flattened looking courtesy of the ceiling moulding. And the sides bump smack into the corners. The door looks squished into the wall.

If they had skipped that last row or two of moulding around the door (or at least painted it white like the wall) then the door wouldn’t look like it’s sitting between 2 elephants in a mini cooper. The door should ‘own’ the wall not the other way around.

And for goodness sake couldn’t they have straightened the rug before proudly taking this picture?

As for this one:

Just Perfect

Winnipeg Window Dressing

All I can say is think of the work and artistry that went into these old buildings. And they’re still standing tall and proud. (We won’t, however, discuss their plumbing.)

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My “Some Day” Virtual House

As a teen I used to draw house plans for the fun of it after my grade 7 teacher introduced us to the basics.

Everywhere I go, and more so every year, I realize I should have gone into architecture. I walk into a hotel, a shop, a house, and I’m making mental notes on what I like, but more so on what works and what doesn’t with the way it’s designed and built, and how good or eye-torturing the decor is. Sometimes I’m like, ‘ooh very nice,’ and others, ‘what were they thinking?’

Still, it’s fun for me to collect images of what could-have, would-have, might-have. A girl can dream–that’s what they say. So here goes. Some of my favourite places and spaces. Put them all together and they’d make a rather eclectic house. A house with a strange shape to accommodate windows in all those rooms. But a house I would be in love with all of my days!

Wow! A bedroom with room to walk.

My own personal comfy spot

A sunroom with a balcony on top. Brilliant!

Early morning cuppa and a couple hours writing…

Friends over for tea and tête-à-tête

This would be a great studio space

I might actually enjoy a kitchen and cooking if it had windows like this.

I could throw real English garden parties here. 😉

Living room as bright as it should be. And in yellow and gray. yum

A fantabulous office. You can step straight outside.

Why bother with walls at all when windows will do?

Another great studio space

Open concept also velly nice

Stay tuned next week for garden features I would enhance my crazy house with!

Give me Red & No One Gets Hurt

Today it’s raining. Yes, what a bore. And no, this is not an I-don’t-know-you-well-so-let’s-discuss-the-weather spiel.

So why do we put up with the rain–besides the fact that scientists still haven’t figured out how to control the skies? Cause even just unconsciously, we know there’s a rainbow out there waiting for its cue from offside. A great colourful arc yearning to be the star, spreading itself farther than the rain, dressed like a Tsarina stepping into the greatest ballroom on earth.

And then we focus on those colours, not on the sodden earth, the muted shades of grey rain forgotten and we step onto porches, and decks and sidewalks and we smile, drinking it, drowning in it. Ok I know that’s a very retro movie vista, but I confess to it such simpering behavior unabashed.

Think of winter, if you’re blessed–hear my dripping snotty irony–with long ones.  No leaves, never mind flowers. Naught but white and grey and tan and brown and more grey in every direction. Even the green pines look charcoal in the mulled sun. On the odd day with blue skies shining off the snow, we think it’s paradise. Sapphire-azure- COLOUR. Real WOW therapy for the eyes and soul.

We’re affected by colour without being entirely aware. Why is it that so many people have a favourite one? They may only buy clothes in certain colours. Or they avoid clothes in other colours. Our favourite colours and combinations thereof- whatever chaos they make of fashion-make us unique, give us character. We get sucked up by them like soggy noodles up kids nostrils when their moms turn away.

The sky is blue for a reason, and so the grass green. Both are relaxing colours, and green has the benefit of yellow in it, if you recall the old colour wheel, which gives it just a hint of life and energy. Therapists use these in treating patients. I’ll not go into all the details of every hue and shade, but colour does things for us, good things.

Why do you think we give tints exotic, endearing names, such as celadon,  cerulean, crimson, emerald, cypress, champagne, coral, sandalwood, gypsy bloom…the list goes to infinity and beyond.

So here’s my ultimate life question–why there are those who wear nothing but black. I mean what’s up with that?

Very trite, I know but sunshine brings forth energizing, vitalizing, tantalizing hues, all you monochrome people. Colour is eye candy! And soul brandy. It’s Life!

I’ll leave off ranting now before you lock me up, but as for me, as long as I’ve at least got RED, no one gets hurt.

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